Redstocking Grandma: Girly Clothes and Babies

June 22, 2008

Girly Clothes and Babies

I have abandoned this blog since last winter. I have concentrated on political blogging and personal family blogging about my one-year-old grandson. I just returned from a baby shower for my second daughter, Michelle, who is expecting a girl at the end of August (the family calls the baby Penelope). My third daughter, Rose, is expecting a baby the beginning of December. Five of Michelle's friends who were at the shower have babies, so I had wonderful discussions about babies/careers/husbands.

I noticed that Michelle's baby got many more pink girly clothes than the young feminists of my generation would have felt politically correct to give to a friend's baby. I am not a fan of pastels for either boys or girls. I did adore the red fleece smocked dress she received. I have always bought books, music, and dvds as presents. Since my daughters were about 8, I would never have the audacity to select clothes for them.

I was not a clothes mommy and I will not be a clothes grandmother. Penny's 3 aunts and I chipped in for a state of the art baby carrier. I also gave her a Rosemary Wells's first Mother Goose, Peter, Paul and Mommy, and Woody Guthrie's Songs for Mother and Child.

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In the late 60s and early 70s, I belonged to Redstockings, a NYC feminist group. Becoming a grandma to 9 grandkids since 2007 has resurrected my 60s activism, but made me increasingly critical about what passes for feminism. My misgivings at age 25 have been prescient.

Feminists became the unwitting handmaidens of corporate capitalism. Once huge numbers of women entered the paid work force, wages stagnated. You were no longer able to support a family on one well paying union job. Women increasingly were forced to work. The option of staying home with your children became increasingly unaffordable. The government used to pay women to stay home with their young kids. The desirability of having one parent at home with young children has been derided as impractical.

Early activists emphasized abortion over child care. Now we psychiatric drug our kids into obedience to the most child unfriendly nation on earth. Upper and middle class women in the US are might be far better off. But poor women and children are worse off.

Being a full-time mother to my four brilliant daughters for 16 years and a nanny to my oldest grandson were the best years of my life. Being with young kids is my bliss.

Families are my passion. My parents were both the oldest of 7. I have 5 younger brothers, 4 daughters, 4 sons-in-law, 9 grandkids,10 and under. The oldest of 45 first cousins, I have 11 nieces and nephews, 12 great nieces and nephews. I have been an editor of psychiatric books, a children's and teen librarian, a childbirth educator, a breastfeeding counselor, a social worker, an internet educator, a full-time mother, a 24/7 caregiver of my mom, a social media activist. I spent three months at Occupy Wall Street as a volunteer social worker, informal mom, big sister, aunt, grandma.