June 28, 2008

Fight for the Issues, Not the Pols

Big Tent Democrat of Talk Left expresses an important truth for supporters of any candidate:

Pols are pols and do what they do. That's why as citizens and activists we must act for issues, not pols:

As citizens and activists, our allegiances have to be to the issues we believe in. I am a partisan Democrat it is true. But the reason I am is because I know who we can pressure to do the right thing some of the times. Republicans aren't them. But that does not mean we accept the failings of our Democrats. There is nothing more important that we can do, as citizens, activists or bloggers than fight to pressure DEMOCRATS to do the right thing on OUR issues.

And this is true in every context I think. Be it pressing the Speaker or the Senate majority leader, or the new hope running for President. There is nothing more important we can do. Nothing. It's more important BY FAR than "fighting" for your favorite pol because your favorite pol will ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS, disappoint you.

In the middle of primary fights, citizens, activists and bloggers like to think their guy or woman is different. They are going to change the way politics works. They are going to not disappoint. In short, they are not going to be pols. That is, in a word, idiotic.

Yes, they are all pols. And they do what they do. Do not fight for pols. Fight for the issues you care about. That often means fighting for a pol of course. But remember, you are fighting for the issues. Not the pols.

June 22, 2008

Older White Feminist

Be judicious about joining existing Obama groups rather than beginning you own on Obama's website, unless you habor a secret ambition to be a Rorschach test. The problem is, most groups have few blog articles, and you cannot read the listserv's email until you have joined. The Obama site has approved all my requests for starting new groups.

Since I joined my Long Island Obama group, I have annoyed one of the regular posters who had been for Obama all along.

This is my high crime and misdemanor::

A reference librarian, I have already realized that the mybarackobama website is not quite state of the art. My only being able to send a message to ten friends at a time is frustrating. I keep losing what I write on blogs, group descriptions, and messages because suddenly another page opens up. Communicating through messages on your website is cumbersome.There is no real word processing functionality, no way of easily linking within messages and blog comments. Google offers much better alternatives--gmail, reader, chat, groups, calendar, docs and spreadsheets where you can collaborate in real time. Google Apps is another possibility for organizers. There is a wonderful world of opportunities and the Obama campaign is not making impressive use of them. Has anyone considered exploring them?

I was astonished by this women's letter to the whole group.

I have watched w/ sadness as this group has been virtually ripped
apart over the past several days mostly by the actions of a newcomer.
Now we have a posting using this list serve to attack the campaign
website & invite people to use other alternatives.
So whoever it was who "busted us" is there any way to exclude a
person who obviously has some agenda other than supporting Obama.

Appalled, I temporarily left the group:

I hope you're proud of driving me from this group. My sharing my internet and librarian expertise is seen as attacking the website rather than improving it. I do have my own agenda--growing a revolution that will make America a family-friendly society for my grandchildren. I consider Obama an essential leader of that revolution. I have no idea if you speak but the group, but I have no interest replacing Hillary as your personal Rorschach test.

Criticizing your candidate's inadequacies and making helpful suggestions is the best way of supporting him. At least have the courage to name names. You certainly proved how
sound my instinct was on the necessity of separate Hillary groups.

Later, I realized that I had cut off my nose to spite my face. Unless I was a member of this blog, I couldn't tell my Long Island blog about what's happening. I am sure things will get better, but we are all a bit raw still. I must have done something to this poster in a previous lifetime. She asks me to leave another group as well. I wish I could remember my crime. Mary is generally well behaved, but Joan gets somewhat unruly::)

Rorschach Test

Be judicious about joining existing Obama groups rather than beginning you own on Obama's website, unless you habor a secret ambition to be a Rorschach test. The problem is, most groups have few blog articles, and you cannot read the listserv's email until you have joined. The Obama site has approved all my requests for starting new groups.

Since I joined my Long Island Obama group, I have annoyed one of the regular posters who had been for Obama all along.

This is my high crime and misdemanor::

A reference librarian, I have already realized that the mybarackobama website is not quite state of the art. My only being able to send a message to ten friends at a time is frustrating. I keep losing what I write on blogs, group descriptions, and messages because suddenly another page opens up. Communicating through messages on your website is cumbersome.There is no real word processing functionality, no way of easily linking within messages and blog comments. Google offers much better alternatives--gmail, reader, chat, groups, calendar, docs and spreadsheets where you can collaborate in real time. Google Apps is another possibility for organizers. There is a wonderful world of opportunities and the Obama campaign is not making impressive use of them. Has anyone considered exploring them?

I was astonished by this women's letter to the whole group.

I have watched w/ sadness as this group has been virtually ripped
apart over the past several days mostly by the actions of a newcomer.
Now we have a posting using this list serve to attack the campaign
website & invite people to use other alternatives.
So whoever it was who "busted us" is there any way to exclude a
person who obviously has some agenda other than supporting Obama.

Appalled, I temporarily left the group:

I hope you're proud of driving me from this group. My sharing my internet and librarian expertise is seen as attacking the website rather than improving it. I do have my own agenda--growing a revolution that will make America a family-friendly society for my grandchildren. I consider Obama an essential leader of that revolution. I have no idea if you speak but the group, but I have no interest replacing Hillary as your personal Rorschach test.

Criticizing your candidate's inadequacies and making helpful suggestions is the best way of supporting him. At least have the courage to name names. You certainly proved how
sound my instinct was on the necessity of separate Hillary groups.

Later, I realized that I had cut off my nose to spite my face. Unless I was a member of this blog, I couldn't tell my Long Island blog about what's happening. I am sure things will get better, but we are all a bit raw still. I must have done something to this poster in a previous lifetime. She asks me to leave another group as well. I wish I could remember my crime. Mary is generally well behaved, but Joan gets somewhat unruly::)

Unseemly Older Women

want to share with you my reply to a blog post on Obama's site castigating unseemly and ridiculous older women who supported Hillary and now want their voices and ideas taken seriously by Obama.

"Comments like this alienate Hillary supporters. It feels like you are more interested in cutting older women down to size than winning the election. I hate it when women accuse other women of pity parties. Being called "honey" in political debate is as annoying as being called "sweetie" if you are a reporter asking a serious question.

It is naive to think problems with men will disappear if women just start negotiating and stop fighting. The problem is not with specific men; it is with American society. Younger women telling themselves the battle has been won might not realize the importance of government and social policies that make it possible for both men and women to combine careers with caregiving, either of children or their aging parents.

My daughters and their friends are just beginning to have children. Suddenly they realize the feminist battles have just begun. Women of my age spend more time talking about their parents than their children because trying to continue their careers and take care of failing parents is a nightmare. As a fervent young feminist in the late 60s and early 70s, I never would have believed in my worst nightmares that the US woud be about 160th in the world in maternity leave and parent-friendly policies when I became a grandmother one year ago..

I cannot understand why both Obama and Clinton did not make this a major issue.

You comment:"It looks unseemly and ridiculous for someone your age." I can't decide if I am age 62 or the age of my 46-year-old English husband born on the fourth of July, exactly one month before Obama. I expect any woman who could persuade an Englishman 16 years younger to give up home and country for her can't be a dried up old hag.I haven't been admonished about being unseemly in about 40 years. I never once used that word to clip the wings of my four daughters and they have flown very high. My restrainst was saintly because their behavior toward their mother is the polar opposite of seemly.

Girly Clothes and Babies

I have abandoned this blog since last winter. I have concentrated on political blogging and personal family blogging about my one-year-old grandson. I just returned from a baby shower for my second daughter, Michelle, who is expecting a girl at the end of August (the family calls the baby Penelope). My third daughter, Rose,  is expecting a baby the beginning of December.  Five of Michelle's friends who were at the shower have babies, so I had wonderful discussions about babies/careers/husbands.

I noticed that Michelle's baby got many  more pink girly clothes than the young feminists of my generation would have felt politically correct to give to a friend's baby. I am not a fan of pastels for either boys or girls.  I did adore the red fleece smocked dress she received. I have always bought books, music, and dvds as presents. Since my daughters were about 8, I would never have the audacity to select clothes for them. 

I was not a clothes mommy and I will not be a clothes grandmother.  Penny's 3 aunts and I chipped in for a state of the art baby carrier. I also gave her a Rosemary Wells's first Mother  Goose, Peter, Paul and Mommy, and Woody Guthrie's Songs for Mother and Child.

June 21, 2008

Why I Support Obama When I Voted for Clinton

Senator Clinton says it best:

I entered this race because I have an old-fashioned conviction that public service is about helping people solve their problems and live their dreams. I've had every opportunity and blessing in my own life, and I want the same for all Americans.

And until that day comes, you'll always find me on the front lines of democracy, fighting for the future.

The way to continue our fight now, to accomplish the goals for which we stand is to take our energy, our passion, our strength, and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama the next president of the United States.

You know, I've been involved in politics and public life in one way or another for four decades. And during those ... during those 40 years our country has voted 10 times for president. Democrats won only three of those times, and the man who won two of those elections is with us today.

We made tremendous progress during the '90s under a Democratic president, with a flourishing economy and our leadership for peace and security respected around the world.

Just think how much more progress we could have made over the past 40 years if we'd had a Democratic president. Think about the lost opportunities of these past seven years on the environment and the economy, on health care and civil rights, on education, foreign policy and the Supreme Court.

Imagine how far ... we could have come, how much we could have achieved if we had just had a Democrat in the White House.

We cannot let this moment slip away. We have come too far and accomplished too much.

So I want to say to my supporters: When you hear people saying or think to yourself, If only, or, What if, I say, please, don't go there. Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward.

Life is too short, time is too precious, and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been. We have to work together for what still can be. And that is why I will work my heart out to make sure that Senator Obama is our next president.

My Daughter (An Obama Supporter) and I Cried

From Hillary's Concession Speech
Now, on a personal note, when I was asked what it means to be a woman running for president, I always gave the same answer, that I was proud to be running as a woman, but I was running because I thought I'd be the best president. But...But I am a woman and, like millions of women, I know there are still barriers and biases out there, often unconscious, and I want to build an America that respects and embraces the potential of every last one of us.

I ran as a daughter who benefited from opportunities my mother never dreamed of. I ran as a mother who worries about my daughter's future and a mother who wants to leave all children brighter tomorrows. To build that future I see, we must make sure that women and men alike understand the struggles of their grandmothers and their mothers, and that women enjoy equal opportunities, equal pay, and equal respect.

Let us resolve and work toward achieving very simple propositions: There are no acceptable limits, and there are no acceptable prejudices in the 21st century in our country.

You can be so proud that, from now on, it will be unremarkable for a woman to win primary state victories..... unremarkable to have a woman in a close race to be our nominee, unremarkable to think that a woman can be the president of the United States. And that is truly remarkable, my friends.
To those who are disappointed that we couldn't go all of the way, especially the young people who put so much into this campaign, it would break my heart if, in falling short of my goal, I in any way discouraged any of you from pursuing yours.

Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. And, when you stumble, keep faith. And, when you're knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can't or shouldn't go on.

As we gather here today in this historic, magnificent building, the 50th woman to leave this Earth is orbiting overhead. If we can blast 50 women into space, we will someday launch a woman into the White House. Although we weren't able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it's got about 18 million cracks in it...and the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time.

That has always been the history of progress in America. Think of the suffragists who gathered at Seneca Falls in 1848 and those who kept fighting until women could cast their votes.
Think of the abolitionists who struggled and died to see the end of slavery. Think of the civil rights heroes and foot soldiers who marched, protested, and risked their lives to bring about the end of segregation and Jim Crow.

Because of them, I grew up taking for granted that women could vote and, because of them, my daughter grew up taking for granted that children of all colors could go to school together.
Because of them, Barack Obama and I could wage a hard-fought campaign for the Democratic nomination. Because of them and because of you, children today will grow up taking for granted that an African-American or a woman can, yes, become the president of the United States.
And so...
... when that day arrives, and a woman takes the oath of office as our president, we will all stand taller, proud of the values of our nation, proud that every little girl can dream big and that her dreams can come true in America.

Letter to Progressive Bloggers

I could never satisfactorily explain to my family of Obama supporters why I was supporting Clinton because my political views were so much more similar to Obama's. I had some difficulty understanding it myself. I did think Hillary would make an excellent president; I greatly admired her brains, hard work, and indomitable spirit. Electing a qualified women president was tremendously important to me. I was convinced it would benefit women around the world in ways we might not be able to predict. I would not have supported any Republican woman for president. Obama seemed too much of an unknown. I preferred Clinton's health platform.

I want to share with you a letter I posted to several progressive blogs I have been avoiding for 6 months. To be a feminist for Hillary in the progressive blogosphere has been a bruising, lonely experience. Here is what I wrote:

"Hillary supporters are more likely to come around and work for Obama if they swear off reading progressive blogs for a month or two. They would be far better off joining Barack Obama's online community. Many of us perceived that too many progressive blogs became almost as hurtful and sexist as the mass media, albeit unconsciously in some instances. Saying it was unconscious is being very conciliatory, but I am a 62-year-old social worker and can afford to be kind.

Too many Hillary supporters stopped reading and commenting on their previous favorite blogs. We stopped trying to explain what sexism was and why it was so hurtful. Fewer women seem to love intellectual combat. I am ashamed to admit that I did too. Fancying myself as a member of the new creative class, I had suddenly become a low-information gullible. What a dismal fate for a reference librarian!

An ambivalent Hillary supporter, I tried rather stridently to discuss feminism and the election on several blogs in January. I then disappeared for five months and only reappeared when I had become an Obama supporter. I love to argue and debate. And yet I slunk away, muzzling myself. I even shut down my political blog.

The progressive blogosphere is bleeding and needs healing. To quote Digby:
"Clinton's campaign ripped open a hole in our culture and forced us to look inside. And what we found was a simmering cauldron of crude, sophomoric sexism and ugly misogyny that a lot of us knew existed but didn't realize was still so socially acceptable that it could be broadcast on national television and garner nary a complaint from anybody but a few internet scolds like me. "

Hillary feminists do need to take some responsibility for what happened in the netroots. If we had stayed to debate and educate, the wounds might not have been as deep. Most of us lacked Hillary's indomitable fighting spirit. Need I say that I am working my heart out for Obama. But the most helpful thing I can do right now is help Obama supporters understand the bitterness and pain of women HIllary supporters."

I shared this letter on my Obama blog, adding: "I realize that I was still a stranger in a strange land at mybarackobama. I have resolved to bite my tongue even if smoke is coming out of my ears and try to help Obama and Hillary supporters listen to and understand each other so they can unite to defeat John McCain. This time I won't slunk away or muzzle my blog. It is far easier to support a Democratic candidate against McCain than a Democratic candidate against another Democratic candidate when their positions are similar. I would prefer not to start a debate on whether their positions were that similar:)

June 20, 2008

Equality Feminism and Difference Feminism

This was written in response to a perceptive critique of my feminist rants. I entirely agree with you "that being a feminist means rejecting some of what feminism had to say over the past 40 years." What has accompanied the success of feminism is less appreciation and support for the vitally important work of caregiving. Years of child care and elder care are not seen as the excellent job qualification they so often are. Christian fundamentalists have valid points about the neglect of children and elders in today's post-feminist society. We cannot abandon this issue to them.

Thank you for bringing up the illuminating distinction between equality feminism (women treated the same as men) and difference feminism (specific role differences require specific protection for women to allow them to participate equally).What is biology and what is learned gender role in the perceived differences between men and women? Because I have 5 very different brothers and 4 very different daughters, I question overemphasis on innate differences. The spread of differences among people of the same sex seem as great or greater as the differences between the sexes.

At 1 year, my grandson clearly resembles his adventurous, world-traveling mother; he is as different from two of his aunts as his mother is. I am overgeneralizing; his mother didn't require us to remove all knobs from the gas stove, but his aunt did). He does seem more interested in being as loud as possible. I never realized how hard one can bang a xyophone. We would need several generations of both men and women equally involved in raising young children to make any significant judgment about innate sex differences.

Childbearing shifts the equation. Doctors advocate nursing for a year as the ultimate preventive health measure. So for about two years per child, women do need special accommodations. Europe in general has much better support for new mothers. They recognize that everyone benefits if new parents can afford to bond with their newborns and children receive as much parental care as possible in the early years. Fathers and mothers are equally capable of parenting young children; exclusive breastfeeding only last six months. Many heroic women now manage to work full time and give their infants only their own milk.

Day care of infants and toddlers, if done right, is usually prohibitively expensive financially. Babies usually get sick far more often in day care, and their parents have to scramble for alternatives just as their babies are needier and fussier. Premature group care is frequently emotionally expensive for infants and toddlers. My oldest brilliantly explained her daily meltdown after full-day kindergarten: "Mommy I used all my goodness up at school." Society needs to make changes so that one or both parents could work a part-time and/or home-based schedule in their children's earliest years without losing their benefits or harming their possibilities for career advancement, if that is their choice. Onsite day care should be an alternative offered by all large enough companies and organizations.

June 18, 2008

Smashing Gender Stereotypes

If this morning in the playground is any proof, every kid in Chelsea (boys and girls) has been yearning for this stroller. It doesn't have princesses, only butterflies. It is wonderfully lightweight, easily fits in the bottom of the stroller, can be lifted by one adult finger. Because it is so lightweight, it blows around the playground which amused Nate. He was generous enough to let at least 10 separate kids play with it. There is a little back basket, where he was depositing all the stuff he picks up in the playground. Gum is his new fascination.

At least consciously, i did not set out to break gender barriers; that was my only choice at BuyBuyBaby. The lucky baby is the sea otter puppet Patricia got Nate for this birthday. Nate particularly liked giving dinosaurs rides.

Pink Princess