Redstocking Grandma: Would Size Order Have Helped?

October 3, 2007

Would Size Order Have Helped?

The last picture of the Koch siblings was taken at my daughter Anne's wedding two years ago. I wonder what ordering--height, weight, age, income, or maturity--would have kept Andrew and Bob in check. In every picture at least one of them is clowning around. Everyone is behaving better in 1956, 1958,1961 and 1967. In the 1961 picture of Joe's graduation, Andrew was made to kneel down so he would not be obvious he was taller. Each time a brother surpassed me in height there was much rejoicing by all of them. I've always wanted to be taller; I still hate it that my brothers tower over me. I am relieved that Anne is shorter, Michelle is my height, and Rose and Carolyn aren't that much taller.

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In the late 60s and early 70s, I belonged to Redstockings, a NYC feminist group. Becoming a grandma to 9 grandkids since 2007 has resurrected my 60s activism, but made me increasingly critical about what passes for feminism. My misgivings at age 25 have been prescient.

Feminists became the unwitting handmaidens of corporate capitalism. Once huge numbers of women entered the paid work force, wages stagnated. You were no longer able to support a family on one well paying union job. Women increasingly were forced to work. The option of staying home with your children became increasingly unaffordable. The government used to pay women to stay home with their young kids. The desirability of having one parent at home with young children has been derided as impractical.

Early activists emphasized abortion over child care. Now we psychiatric drug our kids into obedience to the most child unfriendly nation on earth. Upper and middle class women in the US are might be far better off. But poor women and children are worse off.

Being a full-time mother to my four brilliant daughters for 16 years and a nanny to my oldest grandson were the best years of my life. Being with young kids is my bliss.

Families are my passion. My parents were both the oldest of 7. I have 5 younger brothers, 4 daughters, 4 sons-in-law, 9 grandkids,10 and under. The oldest of 45 first cousins, I have 11 nieces and nephews, 12 great nieces and nephews. I have been an editor of psychiatric books, a children's and teen librarian, a childbirth educator, a breastfeeding counselor, a social worker, an internet educator, a full-time mother, a 24/7 caregiver of my mom, a social media activist. I spent three months at Occupy Wall Street as a volunteer social worker, informal mom, big sister, aunt, grandma.