Redstocking Grandma: Little Brother

January 13, 2006

Little Brother

I have always loved this picture taken in the fall of 1947. First, I have been amused by how blonde I am. More importantly, this might have been the last time I had the advantage over Richard. In my baby book Mom claims that "Mary Jo and Richard were always ahead of mother. Often though she forgot he was so small and played rough." I am dubious; he does not look intimidated. Richard was always a far bolder spirit than his timid sister; he resembles Mom much more. All our lives, I have never been sure when he is pulling my leg. For many years Richard made me feel guilty for pushing him down the cellar stairs in his walker; then Mom explained that the culprit was Lorraine Larsen. Significantly, I thought I might have wanted to eliminate him.:)

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In the late 60s and early 70s, I belonged to Redstockings, a NYC feminist group. Becoming a grandma to 9 grandkids since 2007 has resurrected my 60s activism, but made me increasingly critical about what passes for feminism. My misgivings at age 25 have been prescient.

Feminists became the unwitting handmaidens of corporate capitalism. Once huge numbers of women entered the paid work force, wages stagnated. You were no longer able to support a family on one well paying union job. Women increasingly were forced to work. The option of staying home with your children became increasingly unaffordable. The government used to pay women to stay home with their young kids. The desirability of having one parent at home with young children has been derided as impractical.

Early activists emphasized abortion over child care. Now we psychiatric drug our kids into obedience to the most child unfriendly nation on earth. Upper and middle class women in the US are might be far better off. But poor women and children are worse off.

Being a full-time mother to my four brilliant daughters for 16 years and a nanny to my oldest grandson were the best years of my life. Being with young kids is my bliss.

Families are my passion. My parents were both the oldest of 7. I have 5 younger brothers, 4 daughters, 4 sons-in-law, 9 grandkids,10 and under. The oldest of 45 first cousins, I have 11 nieces and nephews, 12 great nieces and nephews. I have been an editor of psychiatric books, a children's and teen librarian, a childbirth educator, a breastfeeding counselor, a social worker, an internet educator, a full-time mother, a 24/7 caregiver of my mom, a social media activist. I spent three months at Occupy Wall Street as a volunteer social worker, informal mom, big sister, aunt, grandma.